UnBroken Magic

I got to see this beautiful lady yesterday, “accidentally” it seemed but so purposefully synchronized in a time when I need to be reminded of all things.

This is my mother’s paternal aunt. She was the oldest daughter left behind when her older brothers and parents escaped from the tyrannical communist dictatorship that ensued after WWII in Albania. At 12 years old she was left to care for siblings in a concentration camp where horrors continued, not only being left alone to be the adult but having to witness a gruesome loss of her baby brother in that camp and it continued for her in so many life challenges where just one of what she had experienced would keep some of us floored for the rest of our lifetime . But she still smiles and loves and gives openly with a pure heart.

On January 11, 2012 I stood side by side with my sisters as we watched our brother be laid to rest on razor cold winter day with sun beaming brightly on his grave site. My brother was the openly loving one of us 5 , he was the hugger and the one to make all things ok with his smile. We were raised in an a very “proper” Albanian moslem upbringing where laughter and jovial behavior was frowned upon - so my sisters and I did not embrace each other easily with our bodies but always with our hearts, we stood steadfast next to each other in solace with all the bits of our shattered hearts and souls.

I remember feeling numb and still in complete shock and disbelief of what was going on and just then as he was lowered into the ground and the prayers of the Imams’ continued, a small but strong arm slid its way into the crook between my elbow and hand that was in my pocket and pulled me tight while she embraced me with her other arm around my waist - I turned to the side so slowly still very much catatonic yet blanketed by her love and comfort.

There she was , my mother’s oldest aunt with white head scarf and piecing blue eyes; there she was to console me and tell me ‘it will be ok’ because she herself carried the cloak of so many losses upon losses of family members and her own children and she was still there to tell me “I know , I know where you are and I am here to hold YOU UP - lean on me , on my strength💗” .

Looking at my aunt some may assume frailty of age but she only evokes a magic strength of perseverance rooted in love , kindness , compassion and tolerance: all the things that we are meant to live in but gets obscured by tragedy and loss and hate of our human journey (for some, perhaps a lot of us). All these uglinesses she endured through her lifetime and yet she still embodies all the beauty of these four attributes in complete light and glory at her 88 years of life.

I love you Aunt Mine . Thank you for not drowning in your pain and brokenness and always always separating from it when needed in all the strength , integrity and beauty of our ancestors. Thank you for keeping it alive , for sharing it so openly with everyone around you and reminding us of who we are and what we are capable of: open unconditional all embracing love and warmth. Pure Kindness. You are the embodiment of the beauty of this human life, your soul shines so brightly with all of it 🙏⭐️💗 I truly truly love you from the core of my soul . 🙏🙏thank you 🙏🙏🙏♥️😘🌸